fixing it

Well I had the conversation that I was dreading. I am a confident person but I had allot of fear talking to me ex about the care of our daughter,especially monetary issues. But I did; there was a start of huffing and puffing on his end,and then the breakthrough, we both agreed we both communicated, that's the best part. I felt so relieved and actually happy. I am sorry the way things worked out, sorry that we took up the best years of our lives, I have regret that we both mislead each other and the real loves of our lives were out there, now blown to the wind. Communication is the leading cause of all my issues and I thought that being single now I would improve I have a long way to go. Another note i got my divorce papers to sign and a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but its sad because its the end of something. I do realize that I made my relationship the focus of my life, and for my next foray into the "love" aspect I do acknowledge that that might change or I will be in deep trouble once again.

The best part is my daughter and will always be the bond that will keep us together.

mythology and fact

Pretty angry for the past few days. Just feeling like its going to be a tough road to go and its not going to be smooth over the long haul. Lots of people know my ex hes like a mayor or something. A quiet guy easygoing doesnt like conflict and has what one person described as a "gentle nature" my angst started over visitation and what I percieved as me taking all the burden, which is true, and me being the active parent. It was over a matter of returning my daughter to my home after being out, which i thought was a resonable request, and got told that he "couldnt"do it. Here we go. I thought this would be smooth and easy, silly me. Its funny but no one except my friends are asking how I am doing. I am raising a happy healthy 2 year old, sans her fathers input and it sucks. It hurts only one person; her. I am fed up with people including me feeling sorry for him because he is naive and acts brand new. I am tired bc i work 2 jobs and everyone is worried about how he feels. No one asks about me, sorry my ego is going nuts right now, and everyone is hell bent on protecting him. I guess thats a true testament to me, I can make it and he cant his delicate nature is going to get him in trouble and I am relistant and strong, yeah thats it. I was really angry to the point of leaving work early and feeling depressed. But I guess we will see. Only the strong survive