Just 5

I have been struggling with my body image and weight for years. Years!! I can't imagine not having issues but I must say they are getting much better. I decided to take better care of myself and not be so hard on myself. Really. No bullshit. I'm at the gym often and realized that things will not get better If I lose those 25 pounds or If I am a better person. Life is too short. My life could be too short, you never know whats going to happen or where your going to go. I want to be utterly happy with myself, I would say I'm 85% happy and for me that's alot. Of course life could be "better" but my real lesson is learning to deal with what I have and work with it. I'm me regardless.  So back to my body image; its not a poor as it was before. I hated myself and I was disgusted by my body. Every morsel of food made me feel bad every time I didn't work out the guilt would eat me up. It didn't help that at the time I had a partner that was not tuned in to what he wanted or his sexuality. So its much better now and I expect it to be for a long time. Believe me I this will come up again.