Its it them or is it me?

I don't get out much to meet men, and that is because I am not working and money is tight but besides that any attractive men get me giddy and  I get all shy. Something I don't understand, or can reason with. I have been saying hello and smiling more. I did see a few men and smiled, I have been randomly smiling more. I have a posting up  on a dating website but I have a question; is it me or them? I am not a stuck up person nor some narcissistic person but honestly what the hell. I made up my mind I was not going to settle, and I don't want to so does that mean I am going to be alone for the rest of my life? Alot of the replys I get are from men that are over weight(read:FAT), older( i do have an age range), and just plain unattractive. I don't want  to settle I want to be with someone I can feel proud to be seen with. My ex is not an ugly man but honestly he has no style and he really never paid attention to his looks very much, so If i saw him in the street I wouldn't go gaga. I fell in love with him because we had a connection but in the looks department he is not my type. So along with a billion other things to think about now I have this. I have my weight to worry about, the fact I'm not working and taking care of my daughter. So what to do? I don't want to lower my standards I want what I want. But at 41 how long  should I wait. I'm a smart attractive person but how long do I wait. I was thinking that maybe my ex was the last chance I have. That maybe that was it. I am holding out hope that someone is going to come along. I wish I could sit in my house and have men come to me but I'm going to have to getup and do some work for this as  well.  So one more thing to worry about that's probably why I stayed with my ex for so long as well, dating is pretty hard. I hope my wish list doesn't totally rule  me out.