I am going to double up on my blogging this time. I came to the realization about something and I am still trying to figure out if I should throw in the towel , or rather re-think how I do somethings. I have a ad for online dating, a man responded to me and I thought that maybe this would be a nice guy, he was good looking, seemed funny and I thought hey maybe. The conversation turned to I want a picof you to can I send you a pic of my dick.Ugh. Just like that. So fast and not subtle at all. I wonder when men are going to learn that leading with sexuality is going to kill it all the time.
I want to know that the man I am with is sexual and willing to one day having sex with me or if not me someone else, but leading with that, making that your intro or thinking its cute to take pics of your private parts, and have women fall over you is a real deal breaker. At least a woman that has half a brain is not going for it. Its not funny and what a turn off. I'm mentioning this because I am wondering if this whole dating thing is for me. Wondering if I really need to do this, and if dating would benefit me in any manner. Of course Im being funny but what the hell? Is this the fate of dating, or meeting men? Where are the real men?? The men that are gentlemen but still have a strong side, the men that don't give up their power at the sight of a big butt and a smile. The men that have confidence. I had a crush on a man, that I thought was super sexy, smart, a tad self absorbed, but nice body and funny. This man had the confidence of a worm. What gives? I guess the best thing I could do is be myself and hope a man will catch up. I have come to realize that I would like a boyfriend I don't really need one
On another note.... I am taking the training wheels off. On my daughters father. I hindered him a lot by micro managing the relationship they had. I realized when she spent the weekend with him that I need to MIND MY BUSINESS! I have no business involving myself in how he behaves with her and how he treats her. They spent the whole weekend together and no harm, no broken bones, just a allergy some meds could solve. I just want my daughter to be loved and there is no short supply of that for her. he loves her, I love her, and sometimes thats what matters. I'm happy I realized that. I'm also letting him do more, ie dressing, hair combing, little things, she is even requesting her daddy for those tasks. Her little voice calling out to "dad". I guess she will always be a daddy's girl and theres room for me as well. So i'm happy.
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